SELFIENESS

“Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” -Proverbs 31:30 The same could be said of men.

Selfie says it all. Before I start in, it’s important for me to note that I too have taken pictures of myself—alone and with other people. They can capture memorable experiences when there is no one else around or provide an even more intimate appearance as you huddle close with family or friends. However, at the heart of the selfie is often: self. There is a vanity not simply associate

d with self-photography but that actually exists.

A new article from Reuters news service shows an alarming trend: more and more people are opting for plastic surgery because of how they perceive themselves to look in publicly posted photos. Reuters cites a poll by the American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery (AAFPRS) in which doctors noted “a 10 percent rise in rhinoplasty in 2013 over 2012, a 7 percent jump in hair transplants and 6 percent increase in eyelid surgery.”

There was a time when we looked in the mirror as we got around in the morning and perhaps once as we brushed our teeth before bed. Now, we’re inundated if not obsessed with our self images from morning to night thanks to the rise of social media. Somehow Instagram and other apps have convinced us that other people just can’t get enough of us. “You’re so vain, you probably think this [blog] is about you, don’t you…”

I work in a business that although we talk about the focus being on good journalism, it’s also very looks-based. If you think Hollywood is harsh, then you should meet some of the bosses and consultants in this business that make no bones about what’s wrong with your clothes, your hair, your make-up, your weight, or your overall image. However, as a man, I must admit that the criticism women in television news receive is far more disproportionate than their counterparts. Although women tend to receive more compliments about their appearance, they are also much more likely to be criticized for it—by both management and the viewing public. Thankfully, I have encountered very little of that in my career. You may have seen the male Australian news anchor who wore the same suits for a year, changing only his shirt and tie, to prove that no one would notice simply because he’s a man and no one cares about his wardrobe. According to a People magazine article, it was his way of protesting the sexism and double standard he sees his female co-anchor as being held to. 

In my experience young women seem to move up more quickly than their male peers in television news. However experienced, accomplished, mature women are often pushed out for appearing older while their aging male counterparts are simply seen as distinguished. If you think the aging process isn’t fair or kind, try doing it in high definition! Every wrinkle, pock mark, and age spot is magnified even more than if you were sitting across from someone in real life. If a man’s hair appears grey (which mine is starting to), it somehow adds to my credibility. God forbid a woman in tv let a single grey hair appear! Break out the bottle of Clairol!   

  

I admit that far too often I care way too much about how I look. I have a daily morning “ready” routine: I have to shower, carefully coordinate my suit, shirt and tie; my clothes must then be meticulously ironed, I always shave (except for my days off), and my hair…oh, the hair...has to have mousse or gel to maintain that perfect “anchorman” look. Sadly, my wife often laments that it takes more time for me to get ready than her! Now, that’s embarrassing but true. If you have seen me out at Walmart on the weekends or late at night, you might dispute those facts. However, even when I’m ‘dressed down’ in public, I’m hoping that I’m not recognized in my ratty ‘Bearcats Hoop It Up!’ t-shirt from my high school (from when I was in high school!) and the pair of wind suit pants that everyone knows is really about comfort and not at all about exercise if I’m wearing them.

Although I haven’t given it much thought, I too critique my selfie shots. Technology allows us to quickly delete, retake, or alter images to our satisfaction. Though I haven’t pondered the question for more than a minute, I don’t know if I would ever go under the knife to improve my selfie image. I’d like to think that I will embrace aging as part of life’s process. While I don’t want to be old and trying to look young, I’d still like to look good “for my age”. Still, it’s likely that my fear of pain will keep me looking my ripe old actual age—and that’s okay. I look at the people I respect most in life, and those laugh lines around their eyes betray the happiness that lies inside. The grey hairs on their head are evidence of a life lived that has grown wisdom within them. And yes, the extra weight around their waist tells of many dinners with family and friends. I want to be them.

Obviously plastic surgery isn’t just about age. People have rhinoplasty to re-shape their noses and lipo to rid themselves of excess fat. I hope that I can simply embrace the body I was born with and motivate myself to re-shape it through diet and exercise. I say hope, because I have yet to have success with the latter part of that.

In the end, I don’t think that there is anything wrong with wanting to feel good about how you look. However, if you look no further than the surface, you will never be satisfied. Just ask anyone who has had plastic surgery countless times. Something more is missing than just what’s on the outside. So, maybe instead of taking so many selfies, you can try turning your attention from yourself and really see others—maybe genuinely for the first time.

“Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor.” 1 Corinthians 10:24