Mad About Marriage

I love my wife. Even on our darkest of days, I’ve known that I would never walk away. I want her; I need her. La Manda captures my heart so completely. No matter how our life has changed and we have grown individually her heart still beats the same as when we first became friends. I can look past my anger in the moment and still see the woman I fell in love with. (And, eventually, the pea soup-spitting, head-spinning, minion of Satan demon that has temporarily overtaken her body will be cast out and she’ll return to the incredibly beautiful, kind-hearted wife and mother she is on most days.) I’ve learned that no one can make you as angry as your spouse, and no one but God can make you feel more loved. La Manda does that for me.

It is incredibly humbling to know that my wife knows everything about me—and the dark, secret sins that could have separated us from the beginning instead became a bridge of grace that united us. La Manda is incredibly long-suffering and forgiving. She has a way of causing my jaded heart to pause and consider the plight of others who are struggling—whether we know them or not. She loves kids and somehow manages to look past their bad, even troubling behaviors, to see that God has a plan for each one of them. My wife easily earns trust from strangers and valiantly protects it. Her heart is broken for those without food or clothing. I realized early on in our dating relationship that this woman I wanted to be my wife would become the most amazing mom. There will never be a day that our girls feel unloved as long as their mother walks this earth. She laughs at me, she laughs with me; she laughs in spite of me. La Manda is perfectly capable of taking care of herself, but it is the most fulfilling feeling that she has chosen to live her life with me. There have been days when we have both wondered if we made a mistake, but if I did, it’s the greatest one I will ever make.

“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…” -Philippians 4:12b

I would like to think that I have learned to be content in my marriage; content and not lazy. I have found it especially important these past three years to love what God has blessed me with and joyfully live with the choices I have made of my own free will. Although Paul is not specifically speaking about marriage, I think discontentment in a relationship is the seed that leads us to stray. It doesn’t always end with us in another’s bed, but it often means we are no longer wholeheartedly sleeping in our own.

I hate clichés. I find them terribly unoriginal in their attempt to generically explain any given situation. Without a doubt, I can say the claim that “the grass is always greener on the other side” is nothing more than an uninspired illusion. It isn’t green grass that sees livestock through the toughest winters. It is hay; dead grass that sustains them. So, it is with us in our marriages. Happiness and youthful lust are fleeting; feelings fade. However, the vows my wife and I made before God on our wedding day required an unwavering commitment that leads to contentment.

It would be foolish for me to say that I have achieved who I set out to be; I am far from the husband and father I want my wife and children to see. Laziness is easy, and I often find myself confusing contentment with what is reality. Sometimes I excuse my lack of attempts at growth by claiming to be content. The thing is, if I’m content and my wife is not, I must seriously assess myself to see if the problem could be me. In Romans 12:3, Paul writes: “Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment.” The sobering truth is that I need to look no farther than myself to find problems in my marriage and no closer than God to find the solutions.

So, as I lay in our marital bed with a toddler between us on our three-year anniversary I simply want to say: I love my wife, I love our life, and I am striving to be content. I love you, La Manda Broyles. Happy anniversary!