In the days before my Papa died, I had a problem—a big problem, or so it seemed at the time. The university was only giving me six tickets to my college graduation. Of course, I wanted the people most important to me to be there. That meant my mom, dad, sister, Grandma and Grandpa, my Nana…and Papa. Seven people…I needed seven tickets, but I was only going to be given six. How could I choose? How would this be okay? Not only was someone going to be hurt, I would also miss having one of the people I loved most in the world share one of my greatest accomplishments as I walked across the stage. I couldn’t choose; I wouldn’t choose. I wouldn’t have to. My mom just kept telling me to pray, saying that God would provide. Of course, at the time we both hoped that meant I would be able to get another seat. Yet again, little did we know what God had in mind.
I remember walking down the same hallway my mom did the day John died. Our entire family was there at Nana and Papa’s house. My mom met me at the front of the hall, and again with tears in her eyes said, “You know Jared, God knew that we only needed six tickets.” We both just stood there and cried. As strange as those words sounded, we knew that God wasn’t surprised. What we were just learning, He already knew. We knew that he was holding us in His hands, and this wasn’t something that was ‘just happening.’ God was in control of our lives.
The blow-off class that I had ‘just taken for credit’ had made me ready for a season in my life where the storms would blow. I was able to look back and see how God had prepared me. How awesome is a Father’s love.
Many days would follow when I would doubt not only the goodness of God, but also His very existence. One such time is still very fresh in my mind. How many times did the Israelites see the power and might of their Creator, only to turn and create gods of their own a short time later? Remember what preceded forty years of wandering in the desert? Four hundred years of slavery. Moses had led the children of God out of Egypt in a dramatic exit. They had seen God send plagues to torment their captors; they had seen Him part the sea and then send the waters back to destroy an entire army. Yet, reality would soon be that their memories would fade and Moses would come down from the mountain to find them worshipping a golden calf. Talk about short-term memory.
I find my greatest weapon against unbelief is to remember the times when God was most real to me. I can’t help but believe that God was never more real to Jonah than when he was in the belly of the whale in the sea—or to Samson when he could no longer see. You see, his eyes had been gouged out and he was forced to grind grain after betraying the one secret God had commanded him to keep. Both men came again to believe in God’s mercy and asked to receive. Jonah was spit out onto dry land after reconciling. Samson’s strength was restored, and he brought down the house on the Philistines. I endured loss, but God has restored me. I am still waiting to see what God will do next.
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